What’s Your Primary Protection Pattern?

Uncover how your nervous system protects you under stress — and your first step to shift toward healthier connection.

When I’m in conflict, I usually… *

Speak louder, get firm, or push my point

Avoid the conversation or distract myself

Go blank and can’t find my words

Agree or apologize to keep the peace

Shut down, withdraw, or feel disconnected

Look for someone to back me up

Jump into fix-it mode to solve the problem

Under stress, I feel most… *

Others would probably say that in tough situations, I… *

My first instinct in a heated moment is to… *

When I feel overwhelmed, I usually… *

Push harder and get louder

Distract myself or leave the situation

Go blank and can’t think clearly

Focus on others’ needs instead of mine

Lose motivation and check out

Reach out for reassurance

Make a to-do list or start solving

The way I try to feel safe is by… *

Taking control

Avoiding what feels risky

Waiting silently until it’s over

Keeping everyone comfortable

Withdrawing until I have no energy left

Surrounding myself with allies

Jumping into action to solve the problem

In an argument, I tend to… *

When things feel out of control, I… *

Push harder to take charge

Change my environment or escape

Freeze until I can think again

Try to make everyone else okay

Collapse into low energy or numbness

Gather advice from trusted people

Look for quick fixes or answers

When stress builds up over time, I… *

My body feels… (during conflict) *

Hot, tense, ready to act

Restless, like I want to leave

Frozen or heavy, can’t move

Tight but smiling/appeasing

Limp, drained, disconnected

Alert to what others around me are doing

Jittery, restless until I solve it

I feel most in control when I… *

In stressful situations, people often notice I… *

When I reflect afterward, I usually think… *

“I was right to push harder.”

“Glad I got out of there.”

“I should have said something.”

“I wish I hadn’t given in so fast.”

“I just gave up too quickly.”

“I’m glad I had support.”

“At least I tried to fix it.”

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